Its A Wonderful Life

I think most all of us are familiar with the movie “Its A Wonderful Life.”  It is probably my Mom’s favorite movie of all time.  She watches it every year at Christmas.  I have seen it mulitple times myself.  A few of those times I have thought, “I wonder what would be different had I not been around?”  I don’t think that way anymore.  I can see avenues, circumstances, and relationships that are affected by my presence, good or bad my presence caused a change.  To think about all the things I can see where change happened I can’t even begin to fathom the things I cannot see that were changed.

I am thinking about this because 7 years ago this week I thought I was living my dream life.  I had the career I wanted, friends, family, finances, I had everything until one morning in a pouring rain my truck decided the interstate would make a nice slip n slide.  My sliding stopped abruptly as my truck became the hood ornament for an 18-wheeler.  That day should have been my last here on earth but instead I walked away from that accident with some minor injuries and a ball set in motion that earlier that morning I wouldn’t have even considered.

By the end of the week I was in the beginnings of the end of my dream career.  I didn’t know it at the time but later realized that what was my dream was not in my best interest.  I think it took getting hit by a Mack truck to wake me up from that.  Since that rainy day in South GA I have left my dream job, went back to a dreaded job, taken several just pay the bills jobs, and now I’m at a steady job that has blessed me in more ways than I thought a job could.  I  know I complain about the work (or lack of) and it isn’t any line of work I would have ever considered but the company is good, the people kind, and the lessons learned invaluable.

I have spent more time with family over the past 7 years than I would have in the dream job.  I know that family is important and those memories are invaluable.  Just this past weekend I was remembering fun times with a cousin, times that wouldn’t have happened if that accident had ended differently.  Times that my cousin stated were some of her favorite memories.

In the past 7 years I have gone on mission trips I never had an interest in before.  I have been involved in retreats I wouldn’t have done before.  I have made friendships that couldn’t have happened if 7 years ago had been different.  I have loved on and cared for children that aren’t even 7 years old yet. 

I did not have a crisis of life like George Bailey because I didn’t know I needed one.  One was provided for me by a wet road and an 18-wheeler.  Occasionally I start thinking of myself as more important than I ought and then I get this slight twinge of pain in my left side, that gentle reminder of a day when I was knocked down a few pegs and my perspective changed drastically.  I have worked harder on my relationship with my Lord and Savior, with my friends and family, and with total strangers than ever before in my life.  I had a good life before the accident but I have had a great life since the accident.

I don’t even mind the occasional twinge of pain in my left side anymore.  What was once an annoyance is now a thermometer keeping check on my attitude and self importance levels.

Check

I always anticipate the work of the move (ie: packing, loading, unloading, unpacking) but I never seem to remember the work after the move.

Electric turned on             Check

Water/Sewer on                 Check

Gas on                                     Check

Trash service started        Check

Internet set up                    Waiting for better service provider in my area — should be in about 2 weeks

USPS address change         Check

Driver’s license address change     Check

IRS address change             Check

Voter registration address change   Check

Vehicle registration address change    Form printed

Banking and insurance address change  Check

Notifying friends and family of address change     Waiting to set party date

After all of that there is the house to do list:

Arrange furniture              Check

Find clothes to wear for the week     Check

unpack                         Work in progress

Get windows covered     Work in progress — I did get a temp shade up on the big window by the front door — the only uncovered window that made feel exposed to the world.

Decide on paint colors          Putting off until much later

Program thermostat          check

Mow yard so neighbors don’t think badly about me before meeting me    Check

It is a lot of work this moving thing.  And most of it is mental energy trying to make sure all the bases are covered.  Forgetting to get a utility turned on or getting address changes done could be a bad thing down the road.

But I am loving every minute of it because it is my house and not another apartment somewhere.  My favorite thing so far was mowing my own lawn last night.  Wow, what a sense of accomplishment and ownership.  I even met my neighbor Fred while doing it.  I now know Fred, the older guy next door and Joseph the young boy across the street.  And after putting a temp shade up on the big window by the front door I slept through the night for the first time since moving in.  I don’t know if the week of work caught up to me or if my subconscious finally relaxed so I didn’t wake up a thousand times during the night.

Moving In

I have done a lot of moving in my life.  So much that one might think I like moving.  Really I don’t.  I like knowing where my things are and all of it having its place.  With each move stuff gets a different place and because layouts are different and storage areas are different then things that were together no longer are.  It takes time to figure out the new places things should go and sometimes thinking through all that overwhelms me.

Other than that the move went great.

I took Friday off from work to pack.  Most of my stuff was still packed from the last move because my residence in the basement was meant to be short term.  It was longer than I anticipated but never long enough to unpack stuff.  So I really just refilled and retaped what was there.  I gave away a bunch of clothes leading up to the packing day so that was good.  I went to bed Friday night with most everything done.  Or in my eyes it was done.

Saturday I got up and after getting ready I packed the stuff that had to wait until it got used in the morning.  I stripped the bed and packed all the bedding stuff and pillows.  I boxed up my computer and then headed out to get the truck I reserved for the move.  The road I live on is under construction but further up the road than the turn to my basement abode so I was thinking about that when I turned that direction.  I got to the construction area and had to turn around and go the long way to the rental place.  Didn’t matter much that I was late.  They weren’t ready for me anyway.

I got to the rental place and there were two guys waiting ahead of me.  They seemed to be waiting for a while.  No clerk in sight.  Finally the clerk came back and was working with the first guy.  He reserved a 26 foot truck that had been confirmed with his wife.  Yet, he wanted something smaller.  The clerk was kind and rented him the smaller 16 foot truck.  I thought that was great for him to accomodate him like that until . . . .   Guy number 2 goes to the desk, he reserved the 16 foot truck but decided that if he could get that other guys 26 footer he would prefer that.  No problem, the morning is working out for everyone . . . .  My turn, I reserved a 16 foot truck and this rental company as a guarantee that what you reserve will be available for you.  I even got a call from the 2 days prior to confirm my reservation.  Oh no, the clerk said that he didn’t have any 16 foot trucks left so I would be getting a 26 footer, “would that be okay?”  Heck NO it won’t be okay that thing is huge and I have to drive it and back it up, TWICE.  What I really said was, “if that is all you have then it has to be okay because I have people waiting at my house to pack it.”

Now the kindness for the 1st guy isn’t seeming so kind.  How could the clerk change that guys reservation and give him the truck that I should have gotten without asking me if it was okay? They have a guarantee!  So, I got the 26 foot truck at the 16 foot price.  I found a large parking lot to turn it around in since you had to make a U-turn at the light to go the right direction to get home.  There is no U-turning in a 26 foot truck.

I got to the house, after several phone calls from my moving help, and actually backed that thing into the drive on the first attempt.  I have always said I will drive anything at least once so I guess my lack of driving fear paid off this time.  While waiting for me to get there with the truck the moving help had decided to start bringing stuff up from the basement and stacking it all on the driveway.  They got a lot done while waiting on me.  Almost too much, they were wearing themselves out too fast.  They slowed down and took a water break as I was arriving.  Everything got loaded, with room to spare, without any trouble.

So, the stuff that didn’t get packed . . . .  I told everyone that the odd and end things that didn’t make it into a box they could leave because I would come by after returning the truck and could just put that stuff in my car.  Oh, no they wouldn’t hear of it.  Those very sweet ladies put together some of the left over boxes and packed that stuff up.  They packed everything they found which included all the expired food I left in the pantry to put in the trash later.  They saw food and thought I was just ignoring it because of a fb comment I made about my kitchen.  It was great not having to get stuff later.  I loved having everything go in one trip to the new house.  But now I have a bunch of expired food I have to unpack right into the trash.

At the new house my good very smart friend Sheree had asked the neighbor across the street if it would be okay for me to pull the truck straight into her drive allowing me to back straight into my drive rather than angling the turn.  The neighbor agreed but watched me like a hawk the whole time.  That trick worked perfectly and again I back that behemouth of a vehicle up in one try.  The unloading went a bit slower because everyone was already tired and hot.  Other than having the guys take what furniture had to go upstairs up for me I had everything else put in the living room or garage so they didn’t have to haul boxes of books upstairs for me.  This won me my friends back.  They weren’t liking me so much before that.

Now, everything is at the new house and all over the place.  I got the truck back to the rental place but now have to call them to complain about what I was charged.  The had a guarantee afterall.  On Sunday I arranged furniture were I wanted it in the study and my bedroom.  I unpacked some clothes, and moved all the boxes from the garage into the house so the car could be in the garage.  After all that I found a movie and watched it through my computer, because of course it was one of the first things set up.  Now to get internet service.

I will be at a wedding this weekend so no unpacking will take place.  I have several evenings with nothing planned so slowly over time I will get it all undone and situated.  My sister is moving in with me in 3 weeks so I have a goal date to have everything done or mostly done so we can get her stuff in.  While it all seems a bit daunting now I am sure it will come together in the right time.  Everything else has so far.  So much so that I still can’t believe the move is actually in the past and not still to be done.  It all happened pretty fast but it happened in the right time for the right people.

And now I must say, “I have the MOST AMAZING friends EVER!!!”

Introductions

It is not in my nature to personalize inanimate objects.  My sister is big on doing this.  She names everything.  After living with her for a few years I got to where I named my bicycles but still haven’t named my car.  So when I was in the process of buying a house I told Dana she needed to come up with a name for the house.  Since it is on Noble I said it could have a royal theme if she wanted.  She immediately said that she wasn’t sure of his name but she would probably call him Sir House.

So last night I went over to the new house for the first time as the owner.  This also means it was the first time by myself at the house.  This means it really feels like mine now.  Having to be let in by the realtor each visit wasn’t making it feel like ownership but occupancy.

I turned in the drive pushing the garage door remote and the house opened up for me like a hug from a long lost friend.  I entered with only the keys and my Bible in my hand.  I said, out loud even, “Hello house, I am Renee.  I am your new owner and I hope that is a good thing for both of us.  While I don’t know your name yet, you may get called Sir House if that is alright by you.  Since God’s blessings led me to you, the first thing I want to do is offer you back to Him.”

Then I read the verse that only made sense for the occasion, “as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  I left the Bible open to that verse laying on the counter and that is where it will stay until the move in is complete.  Next I prayed, out loud still, over each room in the house.  I walked from the kitchen/dining area to the living room (and mentioned the back porch), stopped by the front door, then prayed up the stairs and into the Master bedroom, down the hall to the study and finally in the guest room.  I prayed for hospitality to rule the house and for all that may enter the doors.  I prayed for the activities that will go on on the premesis and that they would all bring Glory to God.  I prayed for the joyous occasions and the sad occasions, the friends and strangers that may come to my door.  I prayed for times of sorrow and rejoicing that will happen within those walls.  Most of all I prayed that I would be a good steward of the property that is God’s that He has placed under my care.

I ended the prayer back down in the kitchen and read the verse again.  Then I set out measuring all the rooms and windows.  Some are bigger than I orginially thought, some smaller.  My ideas for my living room will not work because it isn’t as rectangular as I thought, it is more square but I already have a second plan that may or may not work.  I will just have to wait until furniture gets put in there to know for sure how to set it up.

Before I left I decided to leave some of the stuff that has accumulated in my car to free up space for the move.  The main item left was Malachi, my mountain bike.  I got him out of the car and introduced him to Sir House.  I think they like each other already.  Then I put some boxes in the car that had been left by the sellers, made sure all the lights were off, and slowly drove out of the driveway headed back to my current residence.

Now that introductions have been made I am feeling a whole lot better about this process.  I didn’t sleep much last night, not from anxiety but excitement.  Packing and moving are still huge obsticles to overcome but I am more ready now to do those than I was before.

Biking with Jesus

A friend of mine sent this to me today and I thought it was great so I want to share.  I don’t know where he got it so I cannot give credit to the author, just know it isn’t mine.

Biking with Jesus on the Road of Life

 At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn’t know Him.

 But later on, when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride. It was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal. I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since.

 When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable, it was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on!

 Even though it looked like madness, He said, “Pedal!” I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are you taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to learn to trust.

 I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure, and when I’d say, “I’m scared,” He’d lean back and touch my hand. I gained love, peace, acceptance and joy — gifts to take on my journey, my Lord’s and mine. And we were off again.

 He said, “Give the gifts away. They’re extra baggage, too much weight.” So I did, to the people we met. I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

 I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it. But he knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten, scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

 And when I’m sure I just can’t do it anymore, He just smiles and says… “Pedal.”

Bite Guard

When I get a bit overstressed I tend to clinch my teeth.  This habit is worse at night when I’m sleeping.  Due to this bad habit a dentist from many years back made me a bite guard.  This is a very thick piece of plastic that is molded to the shape of my upper teeth.  I put it in my mouth like a sports player wears a mouth guard.  Because it is form fitted it doesn’t hold my mouth open or get in the way of swallowing or cause any discomfort but it does keep me from grinding my teeth down to nothing.

The first year I had the bite guard I wore it every night.  Then I slowly started skipping nights until I stopped wearing it altogether.  On occasion I will pull it out and wear it because my stress level increases and I can tell I need it.  Here recently I have been wearing it alot more frequently.

Now, I know this isn’t information worthy of a blog entry but I needed to tell you about the bite guard to get into this next analogy.  Today is one of those days were every facet of life seems to be conspiring against me.  Typically if my stress level goes up in one area of my life it is balanced out by no or low stress in the other areas.  This has not been true of late and today seems to be against me.

As I get closer to closing on my house the activity of negotiations has picked up.  I am not a good negotiator.  I can mediate but not negotiate.  I feel in over my head.  I don’t want to get taken advantage of but I also don’t want to ask for stuff out of the norm.  I want to get what is right but not push for more than is accepted.  I am having to rely on the advice of my realtor to navigate through this process.  While I like my realtor and think he is providing good advice I am well aware that his interest is best served when the selling price is higher rather than lower but he would not be served if I walked away so he is walking a fine line just as I am.  So I am just trusting him and talking through things I don’t understand.  Along with finalizing contracts and such there is the having to pack and set a move date and get moving help and get moving vehicles, and and and.

At work, my supervisor is out this week which means some of the things he takes care of on a daily basis have fallen to me to stay on top of.  Most of it is routine and only requires that I remember to check another email than my own but occasionally something comes through that I am not familiar with or a question comes up that would fall to him to answer that I get asked and I can’t say definitively because I am not the manager.  So the extra duties and responsibilities add stress even if not high stress.

While dealing with all the things weighing on me I tend to fatique mentally and that usually means I become more inpatient than usual.  I am typically a fairly patient person, not naturally but because of years of attitude adjustment and mental fortitude to become so.  This is where the bite guard analogy comes in.  I need a guard against my emotional bite.  I wish there was a piece of plastic I could mold to my mind to keep my true emotional state at bay.  When I am stressed and fatiqued because of that stress I want to lash out at folks, I want to speak what is really on my mind, I want to not work so hard to keep my tongue in check.  But I know that letting go will be bad news down the road so I have to maintain discipline.  I have to hold my temper back.  I have to work harder when I am more apt to get lazy and want to not work at all.

If I could I would just avoid people and circumstances until the stress reduced or my strength regained so I wouldn’t have to work so hard in my fatique but when I cannot do the avoiding thing I struggle.  Today I am really really struggling.  So far I think I have held my own pretty well but I fear the one thing that might tip the scale.  It is that one thing that I wish I had a bite guard to protect myself against.  Not protection from the stressor, although that would be nice, but protection from my natural reaction to the stressor.  Like the real bite guard doesn’t relieve the stress it just protects my teeth from the consequences of the stress.

And on top of everything else, the office is freezing cold.  I absolutely hate being cold.  The room temperature is not helping.

So if anybody out there has a bite guard for the brain let me know because I could use one right about now.

Colors

For there to be only 6 primary colors there sure are a LOT of variations.

I wasn’t kidding in my last post about me being color challenged.  No I am not color blind just challenged.  I still feel pretty good about the stuff I learned in the book and the ideas I have in my head for the house but I need help.  Serious help.

A co-worker kindly suggested that it might be time for me to go to a home store of some kind and start looking at paint cards.  I thought that was a good idea so after work I did just that.  Boy was I wrong about it being a good idea.  If it had not been a public setting and rather embarrassing I think I might have burst into tears I was so overwhelmed.  I went in excited and ready to pick out some colors.  I left dejected and humbled. 

I wanted to walk in and pick a green, a blue, a yellow, an orange but you can NOT do that.  There are no colors named red, blue, yellow, orange they all have stupid names and lots of them.  No where is there a card that just says “hello I’m a primary color.”  What I thought red should look like was not on any of those cards.  What I think orange should look like was not on any of those cards.  Well if I can’t find the primary colors that are in my head then how in the world am I to find the bluish gray or greenish gray or aqua or turquiose that are also in my head?

My conclusion:  I NEED MY SISTER!

Normally needing my sister is an incovenience because she is in Michigan and I am in Georgia, not next door neighbors.  But this time it is even more of an inconvenience because she is in Brazil for 2 weeks and if Michigan and Georgia aren’t close then Georgia and Brazil definitely aren’t close.  She has a great talent for helping me order off a restaurant menu over the phone but I think it might be a bit much for her to be able to do colors over the phone with me.

Because of the endless amount of shades in one color group and the fact that mixing the wrong shade from one group with another can be catastrophic; I believe it will be best to get the furniture first and then the paint colors.  I was hoping to paint the house while it was empty but I don’t think that would be the best course of action.  I would pick a green for the wall and then a blue chair that would make you want to throw up when you see them together.  I know because I saw some green and blue combos tonight that made me feel that way and that was just from laying one color card on top of another.  I will wait until I actually own the house and then go buy some furniture in the colors I want or find slipcovers in the colors I want and then go back to the paint store and say, “this is my chair, I want the wall behind it to be the opposite primary color, can you do that?”  And some very patient, very kind, not so color challenged person will say, “sure I can do that.”  Then I will go home happy and my guest will enjoy coming over to my house and not have to bring some pepto to get through the evening.

I also think it will be wise for me to not stand in front of any more of those walls of color cards.  It brought me to the verge of tears this time, it might make me hostile next time.  Well, looking on the bright side, I now have a bunch of tiny little targets to take to the range next time I go.  I could save a bundle in target costs just by using all the color cards I currently have in my possession.

Read a Book

I was not a “reader” growing up.  I hated when I was forced to read a book by parents, school teachers, or sunday school teachers.  I wanted to be out on my bike or dribbling a basketball or banging on my drum.  I didn’t want to be inside reading a book.

My siblings are different.  My brother and the older of my sisters have both gotten in trouble for reading before.  They both love to read and want a book in their hands at all times.  Because of this both of them have stayed up past lights out or got in the car late to go somewhere or didn’t respond when called because their nose was in a book and their mind a million miles away.

I have changed and actually enjoy reading now.  I don’t read as much as I would like because I still prefer to be on my bike or outside doing than inside reading.  My siblings still love to read but are better about prioritizing their reading time.  For any parents that might be reading this blog I want you to hear me say that both of my reading siblings are WAY smarter than I am.  We all are pretty good thinkers but they just have a vast amount of knowledge I don’t possess and I know it is because they read and have been readers from childhood.

The point of this blog isn’t to expound on the differences of the Spivy children that are readers and those that aren’t.  But I do want to point out the benefit of picking up a book.  I tackle just about any task with gaining knowledge first.  I always tackle fear with knowledge.  To gain this knowledge I will search the internet, ask folks with experience, and by reading books about whatever it is I am trying to tackle.

My current endeavor is the buying of a house.  I have relied on friends and family to guide me through the actual buying of the house.  I read a bunch of stuff initially about mortgages and downpayment options and tax credits and the like, then went to knowledgeable people to walk me through the rest.  The next step, after actually getting the house, is deciding how to decorate the house.

I am not a decorator.  I have a poor sense of spacial awareness.  I do not know my colors and how they contrast and complement each other.  I have no clue what my style is or how to go about getting one.  I do know that I don’t want a bunch of input from folks that I will end up offending when I turn up my nose or stare dumbfounded at their suggestions.  I have co-workers and acquaintences that dabble or make a living at interior design.  Along with that I know that most everybody I come in contact with has an opinion about design.  So I could get information overload, I could step back and let them have at it, or I could do what I do and read a book.

I checked 4 books out of the library.  The first 3 I didn’t so much read as I just flipped through and looked at the pictures.  I had already looked at some stuff on the internet so I was getting better at “seeing” more of the picture.  I could pick out little nuiances the decorator did to add to a space.  I jotted down notes.  After “reading” the 3 books I started sketching furniture placement for my study and living room.  Without knowing any measurements of the house I have a rough idea of what I want those 2 rooms to look like and a vague idea for the guest room and master bedroom.

I showed my sketch to the overzealous co-workers and they were impressed.  The both wanted to know who I had been talking to.  When I told them I came up with the idea on my own after reading some books they were floored.  They didn’t think it could be done that way.  Of course they both had told me look through a bunch of magazines to get ideas so it shouldn’t be that big of a stretch to think a book might help.

Having the general layout is one hurdle.  The next is deciding what color do I paint what parts of the house?  If my spacial acumen is off my color knowledge is non-existent.  I am a visual person so I have to see it to know what it will look like.  If I actually could remember my dreams I am sure they would be in black and white.  I just don’t “see” color in my mind’s eye.  When I visualize I “see” numbers or words or people/places I know well.  I do not “see” pictures nor do I imagine very well.  So to “see” what a house would look like painted is hard to do without just picking a color painting something and deciding if I like it or not.  That could be costly and time consuming and frustrating going about things in this manner.  I needed to do more reading and actually go look at some stuff.  So I did just that.

Friday after work I went to the mall, which no longer is full of furniture stores, hoping to get some ideas.  Since I haven’t been in a mall in years I didn’t realize you couldn’t do that, see furniture in several stores in one place.  What I did get to do though was see some bedding and get some color scheme ideas that way.  Then on Saturday I read the final of the 4 books I got from the library.  10 pages into this book I struck paydirt.  They had a color wheel and explanations about color and how it works together.  It went into more detail about what warm and cool colors are and what moods are associated with which colors but I didn’t go that deep into my research.  I had an epiphany and stopped with what I gained so far.

I spent the rest of the weekend playing around with my idea in my head and while I still cannot “see” what this idea would look like I can state what I think will work.  I have run my idea by several different people and they all think it is fabulous.  I am pretty pleased with myself and once again believe that any task can be conquered with the right book.

Next step, after actually getting the house, will be to put this plan in action.  I have also learned through experience that what I think will work in my head doesn’t always work in reality.  I have to find the colors, in a price range I can afford, then I have to apply the colors to the house.  I will cross my fingers and hope it works out like I have imagined it will.  My friends say it will look great.  I hope they are right.

When the final project is complete I will post pictures but you have to realize I am still 2 weeks away from closing so it will be a good long while before the putting paint to a wall happens.  For now here is a description:

The living room will have 3 separate areas.  There will be a sitting area centered around the fireplace, a reading nook area, and a faux entryway.  The house doesn’t have an entryway and the living room is long and narrow so this is the arrangement.  I want the room done in the Primary colors.  The painted wall will be done with the complementary colors green, violet, and orange. Accent pieces and/or furniture will be in the main colors red, blue, and yellow.

In the sitting area,  one wall will be painted a true green and the chairs in front of it will be a true blue.  The rest of the furniture will be neutral colors.  The reading nook will have different sized bookshelves lining the walls on either side of the wall corner.  The corner, not a whole wall, will be painted orange with one of the bookshelves painted yellow.  There will be a chair and 1/2 with an ottoman angled out from the wall in a neutral color or possibly with an orange ottoman.  Beside the chair will be a cafe’ sized table with some type of yellow accent, either a lamp shade or tablecloth.  The faux entryway will have the wall painted violet and an entry table in front of it with two dining chairs on either side coverd in red slip covers.

Any other additions to the room will be any of the primary colors since they will all complement each other.  Things like pillows, throws, lamp shades, or nicknacks.  Everything else will be neutral colors like a biege or tan and done in wood not metals.  One helpful suggestion was to put an area rug in the center of the room with all the colors in it to bring all the parts of the room together.  I like that idea and will do something along those lines.

So whatever you are in the midst of doing go to library, it is a clueless persons best friend.

Buying a house

Folks have been buying and selling houses for centuries but this is my first time to do so.  I have wanted a house for as long as I can remember but timing and circumstances haven’t worked out thus far.  Now, as a friend said, I have hit the perfect storm of house buying.  It all started fast and caught me off guard.  I wasn’t expecting things to move so quickly.  Then the slow down happened and I wasn’t expecting the tons of little things.

Now I have always heard that I will sign my name a bazillion times at closing.  What I have never heard are the many forms you fill out and sign on the way to closing.  It seems like a never ending trail of forms.  At this rate I could save the paper, re-press it back into trees and build a house with what I would get.

I have also heard of closing costs and downpayment costs but oh my goodness it is the fees that will kill you.  In the first meeting with the realtor where he explained how the process works I heard a lot of “you’ll pay that at closing” or “the seller covers that at closing.”  Then the process started and I heard, “I need a check from you for x amount for x.”  Then, “I need a check from you for x amount to cover y.”  Now, “since this problem was revealed in the inspection I need a check from you to cover z.”  I’ve been told that this kind of nickel and dime stuff is a part of homeownership because of maintenance and upkeep but I wasn’t ready for it in the actual buying process.

Having the money to cover the expenses isn’t the problem it is the not expecting them to come that is throwing me for a loop.  Why can’t businesses just tell us what things cost without giving a price plus fees?  I was looking up info on utilities today also and every one of them has a price plus fees so it is impossible to know ahead of time what my actual bottom line cost will be.  The thing that will really irk me is that I will see the price and a fee breakdown when I order the service but then I will get the bill and it will have the price, fees, and taxes.  How in the world do you work up a budget to plan for home ownership when you won’t know the real cost of stuff until after you own the home?

My solution so far has to been to work with percentages not real dollar amounts.  I try to err on the high side.  I pray that the things I am off on will balance out between those I shot high on and those I shot low on.  I guess if it doesn’t work out the way I have it budgeted then I will have a nice house where I eat a lot of cereal, oatmeal, and ramon noodles.

“Hello, welcome to my new home.  Could I get you a cup of water and a couple crackers?” 

Finally, for those of you that keep asking, “Yes, I am excited.”  I know it is hard to tell because I’m not jumping up and down but I have a few things on my mind like forms, fees, inspections, and closing.  Then there is cleaning and packing my current place, deciding on a moving date, trying to figure out if I will paint and if so what colors.  Do I want to get furniture now or wait until later?  What do I really want my decorating style to be?  Do I have a decorating style?  How will the bikes be stored and can I pull off the idea in my head?  How soon after moving do I want to start commuting by bike?  Should I buy a new commuter bike or rather, when should I buy a new commuter bike?

I’m a nuts and bolts kinda thinker and as long as there are things to attend to or that hold my attention then my excitement will not be so evident.  Besides, it ain’t mine until I sign on that final line and write that final check.  When I hold the keys in my hand, then I will show my excitement.

Humble Listeners

I am so very blessed to attend a congregation full of humble listeners.  I know that ministers in general want to listen to Holy Spirit and want to get out of the way so God shows instead of them but some do it better than others.  The ministers where I attend are really really good at this.

The worship leader, Ken, is amazing in his gentleness, foresight, and stability.  I absolutely LOVE singing praise and worshipping with him leading.  He is one of those folks that just opens his mouth and beautiful song comes pouring out.  He comes from a very large, very talented family of singers so he comes by it honest.  I appreciate that he is open to the Spirit’s leading and that he is a vessel for God’s comfort and blessings.

Our preaching minister, Don, is truly gifted in crafting stories and discerning jewels of wisdom from God’s word.  I know Don so I know it is not him but his willingness to be led that allows all this knowledge to pour forth. (wink wink, Don).  More seriously though, he really does open himself up so that God can pour himself in.  Don is quick to get himself out of the way so God can be seen.  Holy Spirit has many blank canvasas available in our church but none more willing than Don.

I have appreciated these men and their service since coming to Atlanta but I rarely speak of this admoration.  After the events of the past 2 weeks, most specifically this past week, I felt it necessary to say something.  Neither of them know about the struggles my family has been dealing with over the past 2 weeks although they would both be supportive and give me big hugs if they did.  I know this because over the past week I have seen and heard of their response to the Prather family.  I know how their hearts are broken and yet they ministered to all around them.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in church Sunday morning when I found out earlier in the week that the whole service was being changed so that it would center around the Prather’s and everyone else’s responses to this tragety.  But what I experienced was touching, comforting, and healing not just in the Prather sadness but also my family’s sadness.

I could not sing it but the song Blessed Be Your Name was powerful.  While I am not totally convinced that everything that happens is God giving and taking away it is a great song.  I know that God can give in times that things have been taken away but it isn’t always God doing the taking.  Then the sermon, “Where to find hope when hope seems hidden.”  I thought this would be a “why do bad things happen to good people” sermon or a lesson from Job’s trials but it wasn’t, it was totally unexpected and totally what I needed to hear.

In Matthew when the soldiers came to arrest Jesus and his disciples tried to defend him, Jesus said, “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?  But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”  Jesus is telling his disciples that if all that were happening in this moment was my arrest for false accusations then sure I could call down all the fury of heaven to rescue me from this circumstance.  But there is more to what is going on than meets the eye so I must stay in this moment and God will carry me through it.

That is powerful stuff there folks.  When I call on God’s angels to place a hedge of protection around those I love and it seems as though they got lost or hung up elsewhere I now know that they are poised and ready when it is a situation where I need to be rescued but they are present and supportive when it is a situation that I must endure because more may be happening than meets the eye.

Thank you Ken and Don for being humble listeners.  Thank you Holy Spirit for offering the words I needed to hear.