Mixed Emotions

My certification exam is behind me now.  Yeah!  The test was hard, real hard.  I knew some of the questions as soon as they came up but it felt like more of them I guessed at than actually knew.  I won’t know if I passed or not until mid-August.  I don’t feel good about the results but everybody I know tells me I did better than I think,  I hope they are right.  The wait is annoying but I am okay with it because it is behind me and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome now.

After my exam I went house hunting with my Realtor.  We looked at 7 houses that were on my list that was narrowed down from about 25 or 30 that I found through internet searches.  Out of the 7 I have narrowed the list to 4 and ranked them in order of most liked to least liked or actually “doable if nothing else comes along.”  The number one house on my list seems perfect in everyway except the water mark I noticed on the living room ceiling that we found a corresponding water mark in an upstairs bedroom closet.  A construction guy is going out today to look at the damage and give a repair estimate and a total roof replacement estimate.  From there the Realtor will speak with the listing agent about fixing the problem and/or lowering the price.  The house is slightly out of my price range so we needed to be negotiating a lower price anyway but this whole roof thing may knock this one off the list.

The number two house on my list is more of a co-number one.  I really like it and it seems to be in really good shape.  The bike commute route to work would be similar to the first house but partly on a busy road, not a major road but a busy one.  This house has a gutter that drains onto the roof down to another gutter.  It needs a gutter extender from the first to the second.  If the first house doesn’t work out and we move on to this one then we need someone to make sure the roof in front of the gutter isn’t damaged and then some extenders need to be put in place.  The more I talk about the two houses the more I lean toward this second one.

Number 3 is near Number 1 but it has some things I’m not thrilled about but could live with if it got to that one on the list.  Number 4 is near Number 2 and it has a floor plan that could be really fun or really annoying.  Since I haven’t decided which yet, it is lower on the list.

So exam done, yeah.  House list narrowed and in the hands of the Realtor, yeah and yeah.

Then Monday night I learned a family from church had a car wreck on their way home from Florida.  Their 15 year old was killed on impact and the mother is in critical condition.  The father and 18 year old son were treated and released.  This family is very involved at church and loved by all that know them.  The teens are devastated because these boys are such a huge part of the youth group.  We all hurt with Michael and Steven and we are all praying for Jeanette.  We are mourning the loss of Matthew.

Sunday Hailey left the hospital, got in the car and headed to Jacksonville.  Hailey and her mom are there for the week going through testing and orientation to learn about the next treatment regime Hailey will go through.  She is going to the hospital each day for what needs to be done but then going to the hotel with Mom each night.  They walked along the boardwalk yesterday and the pics of Hailey out in the sun and having fun just does my heart good.  They will return to Atlanta the end of this week.  They will spend a couple of weeks at home being a regular family, barring any setbacks Hailey might have (pray for NO setbacks).  Then July 13th Hailey, her mom and siblings will be in Jacksonville to start the 6 week proton beam radiation treatments.

I mentioned my little brother in a recent post.  He was able to go home over the weekend because the other foster kids were out on respite.  He has done well since being back so everyone is back home and things are status quo for now but something still needs to be decided about his meds and treatment or possible placement elsewhere.  We are praying for the right provider with the right treatment options to come into Isaiah’s life so he can stay with us.  The thought of possibly losing him is too hard to bare.

My friend Nova has finished her minimum 4 rounds of chemo.  She has struggled with this last round and has spots on her liver.  They believe they are fatty deposits from the chemo and not more tumors.  That is what I am hoping for her.  Once she finds out about her liver then she has to decide if she will go ahead with the recommended 5th and 6th rounds of chemo.  She was able to go to the softball world series like she does every year.  She had to watch some of the afternoon games in the hotel instead of the field because of heat and/or fatigue but she got to be at the field for all the games she wanted to really see live.  After her initial diagnosis this trip was real iffy.  She fought hard to be well enough to go.  It is the highlight of her year most years.  I am very thankful she was able to make it.

So, Hailey good – yeah; Prather’s hurting – not yeah; Nova okay but not great – semi-yeah; Isaiah home but still unsure about future – semi-yeah.

There are a couple of other things weighing on my mind and emotions but they are not at a point I can discuss them in a public forum yet. Just pray for discernment.

My birthday fundraiser is tomorrow night — big yeah.  Then I am going to The Melting Pot for my actual birthday on Friday — big yeah again.

So if I add up all the yeah’s and semi-yeah’s then the overall emotion is good.  But the not yeah and other half of the semi-yeah’s is very heavy.  Still not sure how it all balances out so I’ll just live in the moment I am in and go with that emotion at the time.  I feel like throwing my hands in the air and yelling since that is what you do on rollercoasters.