By the time I finish typing this it will be a new day. It will be my birthday but it will not start out a happy birthday. I should be in bed right now but I would not sleep if I were there so I am up and on the computer. I am on the computer because it is the only thing I can do where I am not sobbing to the point of nausea.
The situation with my youngest brother is not getting any better. Today was a terrible horrible no good very bad day for my parents, especially Mom. Isaiah is one of our foster children but really he is much much more than that. He has been with our family since he was 2 1/2 months old. He came to us with a very poor prognosis but my family (mostly my parents) loved him through it and he has thrived for the past 14 years as a very permanent part of our family. Due to some medication issues and his changing body he is not doing well these days. He has outbursts that can become violent. He needs professional help but he doesn’t fit in anybody’s nice little box so there seems to be no one that can help him. My family does not believe that, we know there is help for him out there we just don’t know where or how to get plugged in to it. My parents are his biggest advocates and have fought the system many times on his behalf but this time the system seems large, daunting, and very unhelpful. We are unsure of what will happen now or next. We are afraid we might lose Isaish in this process. That is not acceptable. It is unbearable to even consider.
Please pray, plead, beg for the right help to present itself for Isaiah. We need him to get better. We need him to remain ours. He is afterall MY BROTHER.
As if this were not enough emotional turmoil for the week or the night, more bad news has been piled on. I mentioned before the family from church. The Prather’s were in a car accident on Monday. Matthew, 15 years old, was killed instantly. Michael, dad, and Stephen, 18 years old, were treated and released from the hospital pretty quickly. They only suffered bruising and minor cuts, physically. Jeanette, mother, suffered a lot of serious injuries resulting in never regaining consciousness. Today, she was determined to not have sustainable brain activity. She is an organ donor so once she has provided all she can for others, one last time, she will be taken off of life support assistance. The funeral for both, mother and son will be Sunday. I can not imagine the pain and loss that Michael and Stephen are enduring right now. I pray for them.
I know that things will get better, for my family and for the Prathers. I don’t know how long we will sob but I know we are held in our Father’s arms and He will provide guidance and comfort. We might all cry out in anger and anguish but we know our Father loves us and only wants to prosper us, not harm us.
When my brain knows nothing else to do, my heart knows to sing praise. My arms know to hold tight. My legs know to move in the direction that is illuminated. If I keep praising, holding on, and moving, my brain will eventually catch back up and will know what to do next. But for now all I know is it is a New Day.
3 Comments
26 June 2009 at 8:10 am
I am SO sorry. I hate that you are hurting like this!
26 June 2009 at 10:33 am
Thanks Terri. Things will get better they always do, but that also means bad stuff happens sometimes. Just gotta keep breathing in and out, taking one step after the other.
26 June 2009 at 1:11 pm
I hope you have a happy Birthday….even amidst the storms you are weathering.