It is my annual blog time. I have to come to my blog less and less over the past few years but I come back for my annual word for the year post. Before talking about this year I thought a little recap would be good. I started doing a word for the year back in 2016. It started with Replenish focused on Romans 15:13. 2017 was Hope focused on Romans 5:5. 2018 was Presence focused on Exodus 33:14. 2019 was Joy focused on Psalm 16:11. 2020 was Peace focused on Romans 15:13 again – it is a good scripture with a lot packed into it. 2021 was Path focused on Proverbs 3:5-6.
After focusing on hope, peace, and joy in the presence of God I knew I needed to contemplate a path that moved in the Will of God. I have been married for 3.5 years and I am still getting settled into married life. I was single for a very long time and that ship doesn’t turn on a dime. Finding the rhythm of married and Mom life has taken a bit longer than I thought it would. I needed to find a path that traveled the life I was living and going toward the destination God intended for me. I believe I’ve achieved some of that in 2021. I started the year taking over as the ministry leader for the church safety team. I continued to host the evening version of the Friday’s at Fourth Ladies’ Bible study. I became the facilitator for my IF:Table. I changed departments at work which placed me in a position more fitting of my degree history and put me with an incredible group of kind, compassionate, and intelligent people. Then I ended the year with a new appointment as a volunteer Chaplain with the Williamson County Sheriff’s Department. Finding a rhythm of ministry opportunities, work I enjoy, and time with family feels like the Path I was looking for all along.
Now that I am walking a path that feels like it is squarely in God’s Will; a place I can contribute to the Glory of God in my community, it is time to get my thoughts in line with my actions. I tell people all the time that I have the strongest filter known to man between my internal thoughts and my external comments and behaviors. I usually joke that my filter has a filter. Being an introvert means that being in crowds will exhaust me but my constant filtering adds to the fatigue. I need to get my initial thoughts in line with my ultimate communication/behaviors because it is the more Godly mindset and it burns too much energy to be out of alignment. The person I am in my head is not often a very nice person. I am very thankful that I can adjust the internal me before it becomes the external me. However, a conversation with my cousin solidified my desire to work on transforming my mind in 2022. My Aunt is deep in the throws of dementia. She often doesn’t know who folks in and around her life are but she knows that visitors need a seat, food, and drink. It doesn’t matter if you are her family she has known for years or a new acquaintance that stops by for a visit. She may not know who you are but she will darn tootin’ be hospitable to you. My cousin and I were talking about how amazing it is that when all that makes her her, when all seems lost, the true personality that continually shines through is the goodness, the kindness, the hospitality that makes up the core of her being. We both decided it would be great if we could have the same legacy some day.
I fear that in my old age when it is harder to manage the filter and that what comes out and who I am at my core will not be what people expect or know about me. I don’t want to be the sassy skeptical foul-mouthed hateful person in the nursing home that all the staff wants to avoid. I need to change that in me now and work on it continually from now until I see Jesus and can speak unfiltered from the heart and be welcomed home. So Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will;” will be my mantra, my meditation, my breath prayer throughout 2022. I want II Corinthians 3:18, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit;” to be my destination.
It scares me a lot to walk into the refiner’s fire but deep down I know I want to be transformed in 2022.
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