Something happened on the way home tonight that made me realize how much being involved with health related charities has changed my thinking.
I have known for a long time that my everyday way of looking at businesses and events has changed because everything looks like a sponsor or a fundraiser opportunity to me. There are not many things that I do that I don’t think, “how could this be a fundraiser event?” There aren’t many places that I go that I don’t think, “I wonder if they would sponsor my cycling team?” Everybody looks like a donor to me, it is just a matter of timing and formulating the correct ask. Then having the courage to ask.
But tonight, something completely different happened.
I was driving along minding my own business ready to be home when I passed a car pulled over at the end of a turn lane, flashers on, angled weird toward the curb, with the driver’s door open. All the other cars were getting around this car just fine so it wasn’t impeding traffic. There wasn’t another car around, so it wasn’t in a wreck. As I approached the car I thought it looked odd, but didn’t seem like anything I needed to be concerned about as no one else seemed all that concerned. As I got next to it I noticed it had handicap tags, but still nothing jumped out at me to make me think I needed to get involved. Then it happened, the change in my thinking . . .
In the few seconds it took me to go past this car and through the light heading on my merry way my mind was flooded with the following thoughts . . .
What if the driver has MS and just had an unexpected attack and now cannot drive?
What if that driver also cannot dial their phone to get assistance?
What if that driver has epilepsy and had a seizure?
What if . . . what if . . . what if?
I couldn’t keep going.
I made a U-turn and pulled over in the turn lane on the opposite side of the road, engaged my flashers and walked back to this car. I could not pass by a car with a handicap tag, pulled over to the side of the road, and think everything was okay. I HAD to go back and check on them.
Turns out they had a flat tire and had called roadside assistance to come change it. There was no medical emergency, the driver was not alone, there was a teenager in the passenger seat and everything was fine without the need for my assistance. I double checked that they really were fine and that someone was coming and then I left.
(After getting back in my car I realized that even though my altruistic instincts made me pull over, my law enforcement instincts also kicked in and I had to laugh at myself at how I approached the car. I wasn’t even trained in traffic stops because I was a Federal Agent and we only learned how to do felony stops, but I sure enough approached that car like a cop. Probably because of all the traffic stops gone wrong videos they showed us in training that have me scared to death of traffic stops and why I would not want to be a local LEO).
Anyway, back to the story – before my involvement with BikeMS and spending so much time learning about the disease and getting to know people with MS and what their lives are like, I never would have thought through possibilities other than “did someone just have a heart attack?” Having spent over 20 years raising funds and awareness for MS I thought through symptoms that might have occurred that would have a car pulled over at a weird angle on the side of the road and a driver be in need. You see my friends with MS never know when their symptoms may strike, or to what severity they may strike when they do. A slight tingle in their toes as they leave the office might become a paralyzed leg by the time they reach that particular intersection.
My rides with Pedaling for Parkinson’s taught me that a PD patient might get to the point that they have to pull over and then can’t dial a phone because of tremors. I know this first hand because before medication my essential tremors could keep me from dialing a phone on some occasions. If my adrenaline was up from excitement, fear, or nervousness then my hands would be rendered useless. When my house was broken into the first time, I barely got 911 dialed. It took several attempts to get it right because my tremors kept making me miss the numbers I was aiming at. I don’t have that problem anymore with the meds I’m on – thank you Dr. Williamson!
I guess what strikes me the most about tonight’s thoughts and events is the pervasiveness of the change in me related to the charity rides I started because I once thought, “I can ride a bike and that looks like fun.” Another word for charity is love. My church has been doing a 40 day study on living a Love First attitude and now we are launching a new vision for the church that will be based on this concept of Love First. We all know that love changes things. Love changes people in ways nothing else can. So to does Charity.
I hope tonight’s lesson is that I should stop sooner rather than thinking “aw they are okay” and driving on. I want charity/love to kick in before I pass the car and have to make a U-turn. I’m glad I was able to process through possibilities quickly enough to react soon enough that I actually did react and not just drive on. I needed to stop more for me than for them. I needed to stop to know that charity really has changed me. It isn’t just a slogan it is something real – I don’t just ride, I BikeMS. It isn’t just me on a bicycle anymore, it hasn’t been for a while now.
It is life changing, thought permeating, turn the car around, Love First action on the road.
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